Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
