How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
