woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
