Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize