Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
there is glitter all over my balls
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
