I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
