How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
this hospital has no fireball
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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