They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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