in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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