i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
