I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
