I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
