Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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