I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize