is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
