New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
