Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
