took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
