What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
