We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
