Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
