i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
