birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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