And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
