It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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