I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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