and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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