the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
bring money and cleavage
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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