I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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