Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
