There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
