woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
