well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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