You smell like stripper and shame
vagina is talking i cant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
