I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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