so explain again why im purple
no
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
