ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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