I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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