And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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