Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My breasts were aching with rage.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
