i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
