bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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