I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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