my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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