It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
