i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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