8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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