I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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