I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
