good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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