She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
