i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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