Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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