just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
