Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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