They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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