hotel room ftw
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
