thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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