Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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