Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
