You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
