Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
