so that wasnt chicken after all
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
