i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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