Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
